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25 DEEP Questions

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Probably the former. I get uncomfortable making eye-contact generally but I can do it when they are talking to me out of respect. I feel like if I look into their eyes when it's my feelings then I might reveal a whole heap of feelings.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I get angry quite a lot. I sometimes enjoy it though, like...the rage. But recently I've been cranky and stressed and that doesn't feel good so I'd say today, and I'd say a lot the last week, and even though I'm letting it go (over and over) it's not getting much better.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

I'd probably call home and speak to mum and dad and tell them I'm in America and that, now, I might be regretting that sudden change of direction in my, now potentially shorter, life.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

I would probably see Asia, New York, beg, borrow or steal the money. Classics like taking heroin, skydiving, things like that... and then I'd see as many friends as I could. Try and work out my relationships. Probably try and sleep with the people I want too and be honest about my feelings. I'd tell my parents and Alice, yeah, but not sure about everyone else. To be honest it might be more of a hindrance.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.

I think I'd take love. Why trust someone you hate? But you can love someone you don't trust. I've learnt to live without a heck of a lot of trust in my life and I cope.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

I hate dogs.

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

Love

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

I guess I'd be like...ok I need time to think...and then ask if they can carry on as before, and if not...I'd rather give it a go than lose them but I'd rather they weren't in love with me (no offence Alice).

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

I don't know many people who have died, if any, but I would give a year of my life if they did something in that hour that changed theirs or someone else's life for the better because, quite honestly, then they've done more than I have in most of my life.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

I talk too much and moan a lot and I oddly dislike those traits in others, but I also think I'm funny and occasionally unpredictable and occasionally uncharacteristically nice so...I think I'd be a friend I'd like but bitch about a lot.

11. Does love = sex?

No. Love and sex operate on two entirely different levels and both can exist entirely seperately from each other. BUT an individual does normally crave sex so...I think you can love someone sexlessly, but still find that sex somewhere else without love being involved.

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

I would go to my colleague and ascertain their feelings, needs, qualifications, see who fits the company best, my monetary situation, my prospects etc... and then make the decision individually, propose it to my colleague, and then approach my boss with my resignation - insisting they reinstate the colleague due to the unnecessary act of firing them now I'm leaving, but not relate that the two are connected.

13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

I told someone last year that I loved them and since then it's been fecking hard to tell anyone how I really feel. I've managed silly things like 'I'm attracted to you' or 'I'll miss you' but they were goddamn hard and although I'm not carrying it around with me too much, I guess I've just given up on the idea that this whole reciprocal relationship thing will happen for me, now or ever...I'm fine with it, having fun with le sex and falling silly for people I can't have, but I think I used to believe that if I put myself out there to the right person I'd get returns and I learnt last year that wasn't the case, so even though I know someone I want to be with and I care a lot for, I'm not putting it out there or pushing it or anything, partially as I don't think they reciprocate but mainly because, regardless, I don't want to risk what I have for this notion of what could be. I lost a really good friend doing that before and I'm lucky to have someone in my life that I feel the same way about, but I'm not repeating my mistakes and I guess, just, once bitten twice shy etc...

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

I guess that I don't love them back. I mean, I can tell someone I love them because it feels natural and I'm comfortable doing so, and I can do it because I feel a need too, but telling someone you don't love them back is hard because there is expectation and hope and feelings.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

Travelling. It would be hard as I rely on it to see half my friends, but also as it gives me time out, away, freedom, self-expression, an identity, fun... I couldn't live without it.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

I told my flatmates I loved them when I was leaving Stirling, I believe (I hope!) and I meant it and it was sad.

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

I would maybe just hold onto the moment outside and not have gotten more drunk and tried to talk about it inside an hour later, because I wasn't sober enough to be processing things and it would be nice just to have that moment for what it was without having to process everything else after it.

18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

Probably my parents. Or The Rock.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

Yeah, duh, they're a human and being grossed out is not a good reason to let someone die.

21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

That baby is someone's entire life and my grandmother knows that and would die for it and therefore I know she would want me to save it and so I would.

22. Are you old fashioned?

Not really in any way.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

I cooked overt quantities of food a lot last semester and I would give it to my flatmates which was nice but then I wasn't going to eat it so they were doing me a favour really

24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

Probably the former (judging by my past form)

25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

First in my degree and getting onto my masters course with enough money to live comfortably enough in Edinburgh and one more year of fun with my friends, combined with the joy of studying before a job in Edinburgh BUT that's not really one thing is it?